I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
