I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize