Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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