In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
