Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize