The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
