Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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