It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
