I hope mine doesn't look like that
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
