so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
