Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
