Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
