Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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