What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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