So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
