I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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