is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize