Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
