you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
