well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
