i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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