I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize