Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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