My room smells like vodka and shame
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
