Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
