Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
