Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
