who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
