This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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