he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
