you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
