i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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