Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
