He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
