Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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