3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
