No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize