i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
