it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
