there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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