you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
