I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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