There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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