how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
