I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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