heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
