Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize