i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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