it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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