How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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