the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
this boner is exhausting
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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