I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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