I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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