Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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