90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
