i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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