I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
