And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize