Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
