Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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