belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
