thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
