AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I got inside last night via doggy door
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
