operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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