If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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