hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
