I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize