she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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