I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
