i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
