So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
