I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
