you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
