if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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