An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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