Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
