Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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