Swine flu. Run for my life!
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
